I finally feel at peace with Joslynn's passing. I hate saying "finally" but I can not think of any other way of putting it. I will always miss her deeply and wonder how she would do in life and what she would be interested in what she would look like and will always love her. But last night while I was saying my prayers and I love you's to Joslynn I got this over whelming sense of peace and felt the Spirit
so strongly that I knew in my heart that she was ok and I could start moving forward in my life. And more importantly I would be ok. Even though lots of things have happened since she passed I have never really moved on. It has almost been like I am standing in the middle of everything while things are just buzzing by. I know that Heavenly Father has things in store for us that we will never know the reasons for. But I also know that He will always be there for us. I am so grateful for the Gospel and everything it offers. I am so happy to know that even though Joslynn is not with us anymore I know that we will be together again as we are an eternal family.
I also wanted to share some special things about her with all of you. She had 
the biggest brown eyes ever and they would light up the room as soon as she stepped into it. She had the funniest laugh. It was not even a laugh. It was more like a sigh but over and over again. She was so smart. She knew how to do her ring stacker and would get so excited when ever she did. She loved running around naked, well in her diaper. She also was and has been the only 1yr old I have ever seen dunk her head in the bath tub. She would do it and immediately lift
her head up, look at me and give me this look like "did you see that mom?". She loved bubble baths and playing with bubbles outside. She loved watching The Doodle Bops on playhouse Disney. She only watched it a couple times as I did not have the tv on much. But when I would have it on and would change the channel (that show drove me NUTS) she would start to cry and come over to me and look at the remote like saying "turn it back mom". She love, love, loved her blankies I can remember one of her very few temper tantrums was because she saw me put one of her blankies (she had 3) into the dryer. She was 
so upset. The funny part was there was another one 3 feet away from her in our living room. :) She was such an awesome baby from the time she was born. She was sleeping through the night at 6wks old. She never cried, and she was always so happy. Did you know kids can be piggie banks? Well at least Joslynn could be. See, my nephew Malaki came down to spend the week with my mom and us. My mom gave him some change before dropping him off here. Well it must had fallen out of his pocket because the week after he left Joslynn got sick. After an x-ray they said there was a penny and a dime and they would pass, yay me right? Well 1wk later they still had not passed. We went and got another x-ray. Well Mommy or Daddy must had missed them because they had passed but she had 3 new coins 2 more pennies and another dime!! Well needless to say I checked her room thoroughly later that same night and found a stash of change in her "secret 
compartments" of one of her toys. She had an additional 2quarters, 3dimes, 2nickles and 3pennies. I guess she thought that we were not saving enough money for her. She did pass those last 3 and they are on the wall in her room with her x-ray. Something I think is just to funny is that she would not like me and Arli play hitting, pinching, tickling and all that stuff. Every time she would see us doing this she would stand there and scream. Oh and another thing...she was scarred of Daddy when he would wear sun glasses. It was so funny. She loved her cousins. She loved playing with them and getting all the 
attention from them. They all treated her so well and miss her so much. She loved her aunts too:) And especially loved their attention. They would ALWAYS hold her and never let her cry. She loved her uncle too. Other than Daddy that was the only man she would smile at. For some reason she did not like men other than her Daddy. And her Nannie, well that is
a
whole nother story. Nannie had her wrapped around her little finger. Every time Nannie would come over she would run to her and not want her to go. She loved her Nannie days. She loved all of us so much. She loved her grandpa when he came out. I have not seen my Dad with to many babies but he was so wonderful with her. She thought he was the best thing ever.
the biggest brown eyes ever and they would light up the room as soon as she stepped into it. She had the funniest laugh. It was not even a laugh. It was more like a sigh but over and over again. She was so smart. She knew how to do her ring stacker and would get so excited when ever she did. She loved running around naked, well in her diaper. She also was and has been the only 1yr old I have ever seen dunk her head in the bath tub. She would do it and immediately lift
her head up, look at me and give me this look like "did you see that mom?". She loved bubble baths and playing with bubbles outside. She loved watching The Doodle Bops on playhouse Disney. She only watched it a couple times as I did not have the tv on much. But when I would have it on and would change the channel (that show drove me NUTS) she would start to cry and come over to me and look at the remote like saying "turn it back mom". She love, love, loved her blankies I can remember one of her very few temper tantrums was because she saw me put one of her blankies (she had 3) into the dryer. She was 
so upset. The funny part was there was another one 3 feet away from her in our living room. :) She was such an awesome baby from the time she was born. She was sleeping through the night at 6wks old. She never cried, and she was always so happy. Did you know kids can be piggie banks? Well at least Joslynn could be. See, my nephew Malaki came down to spend the week with my mom and us. My mom gave him some change before dropping him off here. Well it must had fallen out of his pocket because the week after he left Joslynn got sick. After an x-ray they said there was a penny and a dime and they would pass, yay me right? Well 1wk later they still had not passed. We went and got another x-ray. Well Mommy or Daddy must had missed them because they had passed but she had 3 new coins 2 more pennies and another dime!! Well needless to say I checked her room thoroughly later that same night and found a stash of change in her "secret 
compartments" of one of her toys. She had an additional 2quarters, 3dimes, 2nickles and 3pennies. I guess she thought that we were not saving enough money for her. She did pass those last 3 and they are on the wall in her room with her x-ray. Something I think is just to funny is that she would not like me and Arli play hitting, pinching, tickling and all that stuff. Every time she would see us doing this she would stand there and scream. Oh and another thing...she was scarred of Daddy when he would wear sun glasses. It was so funny. She loved her cousins. She loved playing with them and getting all the 
attention from them. They all treated her so well and miss her so much. She loved her aunts too:) And especially loved their attention. They would ALWAYS hold her and never let her cry. She loved her uncle too. Other than Daddy that was the only man she would smile at. For some reason she did not like men other than her Daddy. And her Nannie, well that is
awhole nother story. Nannie had her wrapped around her little finger. Every time Nannie would come over she would run to her and not want her to go. She loved her Nannie days. She loved all of us so much. She loved her grandpa when he came out. I have not seen my Dad with to many babies but he was so wonderful with her. She thought he was the best thing ever.
We all miss her so much and love her to pieces. It has been a long and very hard 2yrs for all of us. But I know everyone will get through it and eventually come to peace as I have with her death. Ironically this picture to the right was taken only 6days before she passed away. She was going to be an angel for Halloween. And she was, just not in the way we intended.
2 comments:
She is a BEAUTIFUL little girl. I love your tribute posts to her. They are so sweet and full of love.
I have tears in my eyes, your little angel is so beautiful and I know that she is happy in heaven and just waiting for you to return to be with her. Families can be together FOREVER. Thanks for this post it was so genuine and from the heart! Love ya girl.
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